26 May Finding sense in the incomprehensible
As most of you know, we are NLP Trainers as well as business and personal confidence experts. One of the NLP presuppositions is that every behaviour has a positive intention.
This week I had no choice but to examine this long and hard.
How can the atrocious behaviour of an individual who decides to kill himself and 22 innocent people, as well as seriously injure so many more, be positive?
What was it intended to achieve?
How can self-imposed martyrdom be acceptable?
How can the killing and maiming of young children and teenagers be good for your cause?
Sometimes we see behaviour in other people that sharply, and perhaps painfully, contrast with our own beliefs and values.
Sometimes we recognise that another person’s purpose is so alien to our own that we cannot possible respect it.
I cannot understand. Yet I must also accept that any ability to understand has been taken away from me when the bomber took his own life, because the only person who knows is him. Somehow, he believed that what he did would have a positive impact on his cause. Through the indoctrination he apparently received, he was given the belief that his ultimate purpose was to conduct this awful act and kill himself in the process.
People will presume, people will guess, assumptions will be made. Analysis will happen and commentaries will continue for a long time. Some of this will be based on facts and yet most will be clouded by conjecture and interpretation.
Generalisations will occur, distortions will happen.
And with these generalisations and distortions comes a different danger. The temptation to look at groups of people as a collection of those same beliefs and values and presume they have the same purpose. We attribute to them a group consciousness to such a level that it takes away their individuality. This is the danger, this is where the judgement happens, this is where the hate can start to creep in and we no longer see the person but only what we see them standing for.
For me I hold on to the fact that we are individuals. We have the strength to question, the strength to strive to understand, the strength to make the right choices.
The pressures of our society, our religions, our environments can make this strength difficult to find sometimes but the strength is there. It has to be.